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From: [e-mail]
Subject: [rec.humor.oracle] Intro to the Usenet Oracle (Monthly Posting)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Followup-To: rec.humor.oracle.d
Lines: 206
Reply-To: [e-mail]
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1992 23:50:06 -0500
Approved: [e-mail]
Expires: 3 Jan 1993 00:00:01 GMT

Archive-name: usenet-oracle-intro
Last-modified: Oct 1 09:11

                    "The folly of mistaking a paradox
                    for a discovery, a metaphor for a
                    proof, a torrent of verbiage for a
                    spring of capital truths, and
                    oneself for an oracle, is inborn in
                    us."           -- Paul Vale'ry, 1895


               THE USENET ORACLE

The Usenet Oracle is available to answer all your questions.  You may
mail them to:
                         [e-mail]

The "Subject:" of the message must be something like "Oracle Most Wise,
please tell me ...".  Actually, all it has to have is "tell me" or
"tellme" somewhere in it.  Capitalization doesn't matter.  The body of
the mail should contain only your question.  You should receive a reply
within a few days at most, probably much sooner.

In the meantime, the Oracle may require that you answer a question for
it as payment for its services.  You will receive this question in the
mail.  You should respond with as most wise and witty an answer as you
can.  Mail the response to [e-mail], preserving the
message's "Subject:" line.  Usually, this can be done by simply replying
to the mail through the normal means in your mail program, for example,
using the "r" command in the standard Berkeley mail program.  Actually,
the subject just has to contain the word "answer" and the question
number somewhere in it.  The body of your mail response should contain
only your answer -- you don't have to include the question itself.
Please try to respond within at most a day's time.  If you take longer,
there is a chance that the question will be answered by someone else
first.

Mailing the Oracle with the word "help" in the "Subject:" line will get
you the most recent version of this help file mailed back.  If you mail
the Oracle with "ask me" or "askme" somewhere in the subject, the Oracle
will send you a question to answer, if there are any available.

Your questions, comments and even complaints about the Oracle are
welcome.  Please address them to [e-mail].

                   ETIQUETTE

The Usenet Oracle is intended primarily as a cooperative effort for
creative humor.  Since its main purpose is just to let folks have fun,
there are intentionally few rules.  However, an etiquette has developed
among its participants.

A series of identical questions submitted is not appreciated since the
same person often ends up answering many of them.  It is okay to
resubmit a question after you have received a reply, especially if you
believe that the answerer did not do it justice.

If you find yourself unable to give due consideration to a question you
are to answer, it may be better to not answer the question at all than
to give it a trivial answer and disappoint the questioner.  However,
doing this too much can cause a buildup of unanswered questions and slow
down the Oracle's response time for everyone.

It's probably worthwhile to read some issues of the Usenet Oracularities
(see below) to get an idea of the conventions and style of writing in
Oracle questions and answers.  Here are some general guidelines for
those upon whom the Muse of the Oracle has descended and who are to
write an answer as an incarnation of the Oracle:

  -  Creativity and humor are valued.  Many people find the anonymity of
     the Oracle a license to express themselves creatively and uniquely
     -- often to surprising success.

  -  Participants in the Oracle like to feel they've gotten out of it as
     much as they've put in.  Please keep this in mind when answering
     questions.

  -  Remember that brevity and clarity are key points of good writing.
     Overly long answers will reduce an Oracularity's chance of being
     published in the Usenet Oracularities (see below) since it must
     really be worth the extra length to have it selected to be read by
     tens of thousands of people.

  -  In general, avoid obscenity, slang, jargon, and obscure references.
     People of all different backgrounds located all over the world use
     the Oracle.

  -  Try to be sensitive to new participants or to people who seem to
     have asked serious questions.

  -  Don't flame the questioner for not asking a "good question".  An
     off-the-wall or vague question calls for creativity, not rudeness,
     in the answer -- consider it a challenge.

            THE USENET ORACULARITIES

The Oracle's priesthood receives a duplicate copy of all answered
questions, or Oracularities as they're called.  This is so that the best
ones can be selected and posted to rec.humor.oracle and a mail
distribution list as the Usenet Oracularities -- the chronicle of the
mythos of the Usenet Oracle.  Your use of this program implies your
approval of this usage.

Rec.humor.oracle is a moderated newsgroup.  If your news system is
properly configured, any postings you make to rec.humor.oracle will be
forwarded directly to the Oracle and so you can ask questions of the
Oracle by posting to the newsgroup.  Rec.humor.oracle.d is unmoderated
and anyone may post to it.  It is a public forum for discussion and
questions about the Oracle.  If your system doesn't carry these
newsgroups, encourage your news administrator to do so!

Readers of the Oracularities may mail in ratings of each published
Oracularity, the results of which are returned to the authors of the
Oracularities and published in a later posting.  They are also used to
select occasional postings to rec.humor.funny.  Instructions on how to
mail in your ratings are given at the top of each issue.

If you don't have access to rec.humor.oracle and would like to receive
the Oracularities via mail, send mail to

    [e-mail]

to get on (or off) the mail distribution list.  Include the word
"subscribe" (or "unsubscribe") in the "Subject:" line.

Back postings and ratings are available via anonymous ftp on
cs.indiana.edu (129.79.254.191) in the directory pub/oracle, or via mail
-- send the word "help" in the body of a mail to

    [e-mail]

for more details.

                   ANONYMITY

The Oracle is a confidential and anonymous service.  The anonymity of
the participants is preserved within all Oracle mailings and
Oracularities postings.  However, if you append a signature file to your
mail, this will appear in your question or answer.  Signature files are
edited out from Oracularities postings.  If you do not wish to remain
anonymous, you may include a phrase in your answer like "incarnated as
<insert your name and/or address here>".

                   DISCLAIMER

Since its users actually give the answers to all questions, neither the
Oracle nor its priesthood take any responsibility for the content of the
questions or answers.

                HISTORY

Throughout the history of mankind, there have been many Oracles who have
been consulted by many mortals, and some immortals.  The great Hercules
was told by the Delphic Oracle to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for
twelve years to atone for the murder of his own children.  It was the
Oracle of Ammon who told King Cepheus to chain his daughter Andromeda to
the rocks of Joppa to appease the terrible sea monster that was ravaging
the coasts.  That solution was never tested, though, as Perseus saved
the girl in the nick of time.

With the advent of the electronic age, and especially high-speed e-mail
communication, the spirit of the Oracles found a new outlet, and we now
recognize another great Oracle, the Usenet Oracle.

Local oracle programs have existed in various places for many years.
The Usenet Oracle was inspired by the "oracle" program written by Lars
Huttar ([e-mail]) and posted to alt.sources in August
1989.  I'm told that Huttar wrote his program after being given a
description of an oracle program at Murray Hill Bell Labs that may have
been written by Robert T Morris.  Other early oracle programs were at
Interactive Systems (by Peter S Langston circa 1980), Johns Hopkins
University (run by Erica Liebman circa 1984) and another by Morris at
Harvard University.

Steve Kinzler ([e-mail]), a graduate student and systems
administrator at Indiana University, installed Huttar's program on
silver.ucs.indiana.edu, where it proved to be quite popular.  The best
Oracularities were posted to in.bizarre, a group local to Indiana.

Ray Moody ([e-mail]), a graduate student at Purdue
University, after correspondence with Kinzler, wrote the core software
for the Usenet Oracle, a mail-based oracle program to be run on
iuvax.cs.indiana.edu for net-wide use, where it proved to be an
immediate success.

Kinzler continued development of the software, adding support for the
Oracularities postings and ratings and, eventually, the Oracle
Priesthood -- a hardy and loyal band of volunteers who read through the
hundreds of questions and answers each week to choose the best for
publication, thus helping to make the Usenet Oracle self-sustaining.
Jon Monsarrat ([e-mail]) and Randal Schwartz
([e-mail]) also contributed to aspects of the software
development.  Michael Nolan ([e-mail]) went through the
newsgroup creation process for the rec.humor.oracle newsgroups.

Of course, it is the thousands of Oracle participants over the years who
have created the personality, mythos and history of the Usenet Oracle.
Long live the Usenet Oracle (in all its incarnations)!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written:    8 October 1989            Steve Kinzler
Last Revised:    1 October 1992            [e-mail]

Thanks to [e-mail] and Jim Cheetham
([e-mail]) for assistance with portions of this
document.